The SILLY Squad

Miss Triangle

A diva. A geometry diva. The triangle herself. Miss Triangle devours angles for breakfast and wears a golden crown (a tiara just isn’t enough). Perfectly equilateral, never obtuse, never even acute. Her lashes are fuller than your paycheck. And her lips are scientifically classified as a natural disaster. She does not walk in heels, she punctures the earth at 45 decibels per step.

Experts have discovered that her eyelashes are strong enough to fan global warming back into balance, but she refuses “because drama is hotter.” She has a history of suing squares and circles for being “boring.” She has also been caught staring directly into microwaves just to “feel something" on multiple occasions.

The last time someone tried to measure her, the ruler screamed and fled into the ocean. The last time someone called her “basic,” their house turned into an Arby’s.