Lady Lasagna Rejects Recent Spaghetti-Universe Theory, Demands Recount

Scientists' recent claim that the universe is a giant bowl of spaghetti has been met with fierce and immediate condemnation from exactly one source: Lady Lasagna the Third, who called the theory "pasta erasure" from her usual corner table, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Twelve layers," she said, gesturing at herself. "The universe has twelve layers, minimum, or it's not worth existing in." She has since demanded a formal recount, citing her own body as the control group, and has reportedly begun hosting closed-door sessions of "Therapy in the Oven" for casseroles she describes as "spiritually threatened" by the findings.

Spaghetti representatives could not be reached for comment, as spaghetti cannot hold a phone.